I was slow to share that I had really jumped into essential oils as a business. I felt that little nagging voice of judgment creeping in. Judgement from myself, from others…But then I remembered the following piece of my history and it quieted EVERY self-conscious feeling I had.

My mind went to a time 11 years ago. I had started a wellness company. I’d been an esthetician for 8 years and a massage therapist for a few years also at that point. I was working with an herbalist. I felt sure of that path and loved everything I was working on. What an unbelievable feeling, right?

I had always wanted to run my own little shop, full of jars of herbs and tables for mixing. I found a cute little spot in a historic area and took a leap of faith.

It was a beautiful space. It was a dream manifested. I was so, so proud.

I was young in both mind and (first) marriage at the time. I hadn’t figured out how to stand up for my dreams. Self-doubt was planted in me like toxic seeds and I unknowingly allowed them to take root. Despite a lack of full support, I kept going to pursue this dream.

I feel both heartsick and full of gratitude to share that my dad jumped right in with me on building the space that would be my truly beautiful little wellness space. The historic rental I chose was in need of (major) handy work. He set about replacing door hinges, light fixtures, and locks.  

Just like every apartment and house I’ve owned or rented, he was there to fix things at this shop and make it feel like it was mine—like it was “home”. Without question or hesitation he set out to help. He had full faith in me.

If only I’d had it in myself.

In hindsight, I suppose we find meaning in how things work out. Eventually I went on to other pursuits (which my dad and others also fully cheered me on in), but I can’t help but think what could’ve been if I’d only believed in myself as much as he had—particularly in the face of those who doubted me.

I was heartbroken to lock that space up for the final time about a year later.

I wrapped myself up in being busy with other things. I went back to work for the large natural skincare company I’d worked for before. I went to graduate school eventually. I spent a lot of time getting back to that place in my soul where I dreamed so pure and honestly. It’s been a slow progression, but I see this moment in my life so clearly now. I see that girl and that inner compass guiding her.

Essential oils are an enormous part of reawakening that part of my soul, my spirit, and my education I worked so passionately on all those years. It’s never left me. There are so many reasons why oils are important to me, but this is a part of my “why”.

Although it’s always been there, I am prioritizing this lifestyle again with essential oils and I have to say it feels like coming home to a piece of myself.

WellnessMonica Rezac