on the board

I’m working to stop apologizing for something I’ve carried around with me for a long time. If you’ve read my bio then you know I have held many roles and have an assortment of random letters after my name. I am a lifelong student and have sought out an array of certifications, degrees, or just general knowledge about a very wide variety of things.

This has been an aspect of my personality that I have felt the need to apologize for over and over.

I’ve had people in my life-some very close to me-who have shamed me about this. They have called me flighty, flaky, and all over the place. I’ve even caught myself being critical of others for the same thing, convinced it is a bad trait to have and self conscious of it. For that judgement, I am remorseful. For being someone who is also “all over the place”, I am not.

Some people know exactly what they want to do from the time they’re a little kid (I did too by the way. It was always to be an artist). But, I have also had many interests along the way and a pull in me to pay attention to them.

Very recently a few things that I put aside years ago have come back full circle and front and center. So, I’m working to stop apologizing for having too many interests or for being all over the place.

I am a little all over the place. Always have been and it’s actually been mostly fine. It doesn’t mean I don’t see things through when it’s important or when it matters to me or my loved ones (for the right reasons).

And, I say I’m “working” on the apologizing thing because breaking this habit is not easy for me. I am ready to move past it, but the apologetic feeling may still creep in. So I am working on it.

P.S. I’m also not going to stop seeking out new things. I’m going to be a lifelong learner. It’s who I am. A forever student in one way or another. A collector of interests.

CreativityMonica Rezac